Okay, so before you start reading this I am going to warn you. This is NOT a running post. This is probably going to be the most personal/deep I am going to get on here. But it’s been a hell of a year and without it I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog right now. So yes, you have been warned. Still with me? Okay, here goes!
So let’s go back to the beginning of 2017. I was desperately unhappy. Unhappy in my relationship. Unhappy in my professional (or lack of) life. And perhaps the biggest one, unhappy in my own skin.
This was taken back in Feb 2017 – unedited, unfiltered and a completely natural/relaxed pose. Now I know I wasn’t huge, and I am not saying that. But everybody is different, and for me, I was not comfortable at this weight or size. And it was affecting everything, including my running (okay, so maybe I will talk about running a little bit!)
But I was stuck in a vicious cycle. I would sign up for another diet, fail after a few days, binge to make myself feel better, get down again because I put weight on. And repeat!
I was still running regularly, in fact I was training for my 2nd London Marathon, and although my training was going okay, I never felt 100%. I always felt sluggish and just ‘heavy’ on my runs, and I was doing very little cross training (something I will be posting about soon!) basically, I just felt a bit ‘meh’!
The marathon came & went, and although I didn’t get a bad time, I was not happy with my performance and the result – which just became another thing to add to the list of things that were dragging me down.
Things started to pick up over the Summer. At the end of June I found out I secured my new job which was due to start in September, which I was so excited about, and it gave me a sense of purpose again. But unfortunately that was just one problem sorted on a list of many.
I also picked up a nasty little hip injury during an event in July which resulted in me not running for almost a month (!!!) and it was safe to say this did not help. Running has always been a great stress relief for me, and to have that taken away was again, just another negative in my life.
And then there was the big one. My relationship. To cut a long story short. I was engaged. We had booked the venue. We had a photographer booked. We had started planning the wedding. But deep down, for a long time, I knew it wasn’t right. And I honestly believe this was the root of my unhappiness. I made the decision in September to leave, and although it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, it was the right one for me and my happiness. But anyway, lets move on.
After some big life changes I was finally starting to feel like my old self again, and started to get my drive & motivation back. I already had my place for the 2018 London Marathon, and I knew I wanted to get back there to redeem myself after my disappointing result in 2017, so, I knew some things had to change.
I signed back up with Team Project Run as I knew that having a running training plan would get me back on the right track & I was just praying that I would start seeing results again soon. I also made more effort to get to the gym regularly, and as I was now living closer to both my work & my gym it made it a lot easier, and a lot harder to make excuses!!
Towards the end of the year, things really started slotting into place. And I was starting to completely forget about the girl at the beginning of the year, as it genuinely felt like a different person. I was in a job that I really enjoyed, I was seeing progress in my running again, and I had lost weight and felt a lot more confident in my own skin.
As the 1st January approached, I was feeling more motivated then ever. Not only was it the 1st day of a brand new year (and a Monday!) it was also the start of my 16 week London Marathon training plan. I knew that I was going to give this my everything, and nothing was going to get in my way – even a knee niggle 3 days into my plan didn’t stop me, I was sensible, took extra rest when I needed it and just worked around it. And if you follow me on Instagram you will see that my training has gone from strength to strength!
I am going to be bold and say it, but I am currently in the best shape of my life. Since this time last year I have lost 10kg and I feel fitter & stronger than ever. I am achieving PBs I never thought I would be, and setting goals, that although seem very scary, seem within my reach.
I took the photos below at the beginning of this week, as for the final 6 weeks of marathon training I am going to be working with a nutrition coach (NOT A WEIGHT LOSS PLAN!) to ensure I am giving my body everything it needs ahead of and during the marathon. Again, these photos are unedited, unfiltered and completely natural/relaxed.
These things take time. This was not an overnight fix, this wasn’t just doing a bit more running, or eating a little bit healthier. I changed my entire life because I wasn’t happy. And now I am & more motivated then ever before.
I am not saying it was easy, and again I am not saying that you need to be as drastic, but sometimes you may need to look a little bit further than just your training or your diet if you aren’t achieving what you want to, as it could be something else holding you back.
Although I have already come so far, this honestly feels like the start of something.. and I am very excited to see where it is going to take me, and I cant wait to share it with you guys.
5 thoughts on “Honesty Post.”
Congrats on the GREAT progress, and good luck with the rest of your training, very exciting!
What an inspiration
Another great post Jordan. Your honesty is so refreshing in a world of “perfect bodies”. You’re also very brave for not only posting those candid photos but also leaving your fiancé when you knew it wasn’t what you wanted, that must have been an incredibly tough decision to make and horrible to go through. Sounds like you made the right choice though so well done for having the guts to take stock and make major positive changes to your life.